That will teach you to think you are smart!

We phoned ahead to book into this Big 4 at Cessnock, the lady said to “ask about the concert when you arrive” – that will be nice we thought – a concert for park patrons – wrong! – the park was being frequented by a large number of teenagers who were there to attend a long weekend rock concert in the area – “we have warned them to be quiet!” – said the receptionist when we arrived – the reality was that they were all well behaved on the first night but last night!!!!! – that was something entirely different – the din started to abate at around 1:00am with the arrival of the off-site park owners and fortunately had disappeared completely by about 2:30 – the abatement of the noise was in synch with the abatement of the rain but not the wind.

The reality was that the continuation of the moderate winds through the remainder of the night had a remarkable drying effect on the exposed canvas such that the van was in a suitable state for packing up when we awoke – we looked at the weather and assessed that we had sufficient time to pack up the van before it closed in again – once again we overestimated our inherent camping skills – we did manage to pack down the van before the rain but were left to collapse stabilisers, roll up the awning and hitch up the van in significant precipitation – while Bernie remained studied, organised and calm my behaviour could best be described as the reverse of that which she displayed – she methodically applied wet weather over-garments and calmly went about her tasks while I displayed all the calm and composure of panicked herd of African wildebeests.  The only two parts of the proceedings that rendered me any comfort was firstly that the noise generated by our haste woke the miscreant teenagers from their alcohol induced stupor thereby inflicting some revenge upon them and secondly that the tasks were eventually finished and we were really to roll.

The drive from Cessnock to Port Macquarie gave me the opportunity to further consider my reimagining of holidaying at the Hilton – I clearly remember that exposure to the elements upon departure was never a consideration – protection was afforded either by generous waterproof awnings or by enormous umbrellas held expertly over the head of patrons by the uniformed concierge – I have not seen even one concierge on this caravanning sojourn – perhaps they just don’t exist in this realm!  

The drive itself was smooth and uneventful save for the reality that we experienced an increase of many magnitudes in the feline and canine populations of the north coast – this clearly must have been the case since it rained “cats and dogs” for virtually the entire 4 hours of elapsed travel time.  I confess to have been most relieved by the dramatically improved dual carriageway that is now the Princes Highway to Port Macquarie over the dangerous excuse for a road that we traversed on trips north around the Southern Cross rallies in the early 1970’s.

We appeared in Port Macquarie during one of the few breaks in the weather – the owner was anxious for us to get setup as quickly as we could – “the weather is coming in from the south” he says. With his encouragement the set up was indeed both quick and just in time – the door was latched into place just as the rain and wind started up again – “perhaps we should not have put up those flies Bernie” – “perhaps not” – they rattle – they rumble – the supports yield a little but they hold firm – the wind puffs, then pants a while before drawing in a huge breath and threatening to “blow the house down” – the van creeks – it rocks a little – it creeks some more – it rolls some more – “What would be the best engineering solution Mike – should we close the side windows or open them?” – “Look Bernadette” (note the use of her full first name) - there is absolutely no engineering problem – the van is fine!” – Immediately upon the utterance of this definitive statement, the rear roof stay tears its support bracket from the roof – we both agree – that has got to go into the blog! – The toolbox is acquired – Bernie steadies the stay – the miscreant bracket is reattached by enabling the screws to penetrate virgin wood.

We resolve to stay put for the afternoon – “You will venture out later in the evening for fish and chips Michael!” - note the use of my full first name!